Respecting Cultural Differences Out-of-Focus

February 26, 2010

I read at Crooked Timber that three Google executives were convicted of violating Italy’s privacy laws. That taught me that China is not alone in having laws different from other countries that limit activity on the Internet.

When China censors the Internet, or hires mothers to go after on-line pornographers, the family centered culture drives those actions. Most of China’s arrests of dissidents and executions of criminals are also driven by the family centered culture influenced by Confucian, Taoist beliefs.

Confucious

A few years back, a Japanese citizen, wife and mother attempted suicide in the United States and killed her children in the attempt, but the mother was saved by bystanders. She tried to kill herself and her children, because she had lost face when it was discovered that her husband had an affair with another woman.

When the American legal system was going to try her for murder, the Japanese government protested and said her actions were driven by her culture. Respecting the differences between the two cultures, the United States allowed her to return to Japan.

If we really respect the differences between cultures, why does the Western media and American politicians go out of their way to treat China without respecting the cultural differences that explains why China’s government acts the way it does?

To understand China more, I recommend pietyface and heroes.

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of The Concubine Saga. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. This is the love story Sir Robert Hart did not want the world to discover.

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Mother’s “Face” – Part 2/4

February 18, 2010

Do not stereotype. The meaning of face may vary between the Chinese.  It depends on the balance between Confucianism and Daoism along with factors like Buddhism or belief in the Christian, Islamic or Jewish God.

Face is why most Chinese mothers ride their children hard to earn good grades in school while telling everyone they know that their kid is stupid and lazy and has no chance to succeed. Chinese mothers may often tell their children the same thing. However, if the child is accepted to a prestigious university, that Chinese mother has now earned bragging rights and gained much face for the great job she did as a mother.

mothers with children

To get a better idea, I recommend reading Amy Tan‘s “Joy Luck Club” or watching the movie.

We had a house full of my wife’s Chinese friends over for dinner. After eating, the children gathered in our downstairs TV room to watch a movie.  They picked “The Joy Luck Club”, and during one scene, when the Chinese mother was acting very Chinese, all the children looked at each other, nodded a ‘yes’ and laughed ironically. Since my wife is Chinese, I knew why they reacted that way. They all had Chinese mothers.

Continued at Men’s “Face” – Part 3 or learn about International Women’s Day

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. 

To subscribe to iLook China, look for the “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar, click
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Chinese “Face” – Part 1/4

February 17, 2010

No, this is not about looks or Botox or face lifting creams or hairstyles, or the desire to have a rounder, paler moon face—the standard of beauty to the Chinese.

What I am writing about is the meaning of “face”.

Dr. Martha Lee wrote, “Nobody ever said what you do with those who have ‘disgraced’ the family name by getting divorced.”

In China, if you do something that is considered a disgrace, like getting divorced, that may be considered a loss of face for everyone in the family.

When our daughter was a pre-teen, we went on weekend hikes in the hills behind our home. The end of the hike was a large park across the street from the La Puente Mall. On one fateful day, when she was nine or ten, she was the first to discover a dead man. She came running back with a shocked look on her face.

It turned out that the dead man was an architect from Taiwan and his company had gone broke.  His loss of face for failing had driven him to take an extension cord from his mother’s house, find a suitable tree in an isolated portion of that park, and hang himself.  He was dead when we reached him.

Continued at Mothers “Face” – Part 2 or learn of Human Rights – East versus West

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. 

To subscribe to iLook China, look for the “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar, click
on it then follow directions.


About Tibet

February 16, 2010

How does Communist China treat its minorities compared to the way minorities have been treated in the Americas?

Yes, human rights violations did happen in Tibet, but most happened during the Cultural Revolution. Mao ruled China for twenty-seven years (1949 – 1976) but the Cultural Revolution started in the mid 1960s and ended in 1976 with his death, and everyone in China suffered during that decade.

Since Mao considered Tibet to be part of China (and recorded, nonbiased evidence from primary sources prior to the rise of Communism supports that claim), those who suffered in Tibet were treated the same as the rest of China. Monasteries in Tibet were destroyed–but this was going on everywhere in China and after 1976 many of the major monasteries were rebuilt by China.

The next post shows what happened after Mao died—facts we seldom if ever hear. It is always good to have the facts to see who sins and who doesn’t.

Learn what happened After Mao and more about Tibet – Inside China

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too.

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.


When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do

February 14, 2010

 U.S., EU decry upholding of China dissident sentence. Since when do Americans or Europeans decide what isn’t proper in China? The fact that China doesn’t have an American Bill of Rights has nothing to do with Communism. China’s foundation was built on Confucianism, and Confucius taught five rules for relationships. 

Conficius

  • Father to Son – There should be kindness in the father, and filial piety in the son.
  • Elder Brother to Younger Brother – There should be gentility (politeness) in the elder brother, and humility in the younger.
  • Husband to Wife – There should be righteous behavior in the husband and obedience in the wife.
  • Elder to Junior – There should be consideration among the elders and deference among the juniors.
  • Ruler to Subject – There should be benevolence among the rulers and loyalty among the subjects.

 Look at the last rule. When a Chinese citizen publicly protests the way the Chinese government runs the country, that is seen as an act of disloyalty. You may not agree with what China does, but China has the right to do as it sees fit even if the act is considered inhuman by Western standards.

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. 

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.