The Growth of Romance in China: Part 2/2

April 16, 2013

The segment of Al Jazeeera’s report on Maggie Gu’s “Romance Chinese Style” starts with the sound of violins at a wedding banquet.

The narrator says, “Chinese weddings today combine east and west both in customs and in costumes. However, the all-important wedding banquet must start before twelve to avoid bad luck.”

China’s open society is learning about love and romance.

However, it is also discovering the agony of divorce since in the last two decades the divorce rate in China has taken flight but is still far from the divorce rate in the US.

Divorce has become so common, that it led to a popular, award winning TV drama called called “Chinese-Style Divorce”, which is the story of a woman losing her husband due to jealousy. This program struck a chord with millions of Chinese viewers.

The producer/director of Chinese-Style Divorce went through a divorce the year before he started filming. Many in the production crew were also divorced.

Lost love in China has also created opportunities in a new divorce industry leading to lawyers that specialize in divorce.

While Chinese laws have made divorce much easier, Chinese culture is still having a difficult time adjusting to the shock that comes with divorce.

Today, marriage in China is more than just sticking it out through hard times. These days young couples want harmony, happiness and romance, which means when marriage becomes torture there is no hesitation to divorce.

However, there are still differences between Chinese and US marriages. In China, many expect their new mate to show respect and support for parents. Chinese parents may also become involved in playing cupid for their children.

Return to The Growth of Romance in China: Part 1

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of My Splendid Concubine [3rd edition]. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. This is the love story Sir Robert Hart did not want the world to discover.

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Marriage and Money

July 16, 2010

I worked in a meat market once in the early 1980s.  I was the maitre d in a nightclub called the Red Onion in Southern California.  The kind of meat I’m talking about is the two-legged kind where men are looking for women.

Danwei has an interesting post about a similar meat market in China without the nightclub.   In China, marriage is often based on how much a man earns.  Since there is a growing shortage of women in China, men have to compete.  The winner is usually the one who earns the most. Danwei posted a letter from a university student in China, who is attracted to a beautiful girl in one of his classes, but he has nothing to offer and is ready to give up before asking her for a date.

This Video emphasizes that fact.  A Chinese laborer who doesn’t earn much and doesn’t own a home wants a wife but he can’t find one because men who earn more than him are getting all the available women.

Even if a girl likes a guy, the parents are going to get involved at some point to make sure the man earns enough to provide for their daughter. If the parents are against the marriage, the odds are it will not happen.

Don’t forget, the biggest reason for divorce in the US is due to money problems—something Chinese women want to avoid.  This is a case where love loses to money.

See Banning Virtual Love for the Troops

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of The Concubine Saga. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. This is the love story Sir Robert Hart did not want the world to discover.

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