China’s Sexual Revolution (viewed as single page)

April 27, 2011

The world’s biggest country is going through the world’s largest sexual revolution. From the Internet to corner sex shops, China is changing. However, lost in the mix, millions of single men cannot find a date much less a mate.

Changes are talking place as China goes through the West’s 60s rebellion. Mao’s Little Red Book has been replaced with a black book filled with phone numbers and date info.

Mao’s taboos against capitalism and sex are gone. With these changes comes the dark side—drugs, prostitution, HIV and STDs. Under Mao, sexuality was almost done away with. Everyone wore the same baggy colored clothes. Everyone had the same haircut. Couples that fell in love and were caught were punished. Today, cosmetics, perfume and stylish clothes have replaced Mao’s uniforms.

Millions are learning about romance and love. However, millions of others have been left with sexual, psychological problems and are very ignorant about sex. They were victims of Mao’s Cultural Revolution‘s sexual repression.

According to a 2004 survey, only twenty percent of Chinese men know where to find the clitoris, while fifty percent of Chinese women haven’t had an orgasm. Sexual ignorance and dysfunction is common. Mao’s Cultural Revolution left invisible scars.

China also has a new, popular holiday,Valentine’s Day. On February 14, cupid and roses have become fashionable. Nightclubs hold Valentine’s festivals where couples meet, drug use is common and kissing leads to sex.

Private businesses that cater to romance and sex are flourishing in China. Some shops are a cross between a sexual education center that also sells adult sex toys. In Beijing, there are an estimated five thousand sex shops and business is booming. This industry is worth billions.

When the first graphic sex Blog came online, the server crashed and was down for days. When the government censors shut down a sex Blog, more replace it.

In China today, teen girls are living lives their parents never imagined and do not understand. The teens are very open about what turns them on in a guy. Many do not care what their parents think. They only want to have fun.

Listening to the conversation between this group of Chinese girls sounds like listening to spoiled kids in the US talking.

The teens often go out clubbing and the nightclubs are equal to or better than the best in the West. The nightclub featured in the video has life-sized wall paintings from Cultural Revolution posters while teens dressed in sexy clothes dance and grind to loud music. These changes started in the late 1990s.

Even in China’s rural villages, the sexual revolution has been felt as millions of young women leave the villages to the big cities and experience what the urban Chinese are doing. The first stop is the hair salon.

The media is even climbing on board this sexual revolution. Glitzy magazines, like the Chinese edition of Cosmopolitan, feature the stylish, hot and sexy.

China’s one-child policy, created to control the growth of the population, is complicating the sexual revolution.

By ending the pressure on Chinese women to have many children, this has liberated them to do other things. Now Chinese women have the freedom to get an education and find a paying job.

The one-child policy also created another problem. Since Chinese families have always favored having boys, many women get abortions when the fetus is identified as a female. This has led to a growing imbalance between the number of men and women.

Now, millions of poor men cannot find a mate. With so many poor men unable to find women, gangs and crime have become a problem.

China now has the fastest growing sex industry in the world. A decade ago, there was little prostitution. Today, there are many brothels masquerading as massage parlors. Some are modeled after the brothels in Thailand.

Capitalism has arrived in all its guises, and the same problems the US has with sex slavery and drugs is now a problem for China too.

Most prostitutes are village girls and have no idea about safe sex. This is causing an increase in HIV. Many of the men refuse to wear condoms. Sometimes, when the girl says no, the paying customer will rape her.

The sexual revolution in China is a fragile one. While the new China supports it, the old China is afraid of these changes. Adultery and divorce are on the rise. Kids are leaving home. There is a growing generation gap.

One older Chinese man says that China is not used to this. Under pressure from the older generation, the police must crack down, raid bordellos and arrest prostitutes.

However, now that China’s sexual revolution is in the open, it will be hard to stop. At first, the government tried to stop what was going on but soon backed off. In addition, many parents, who grew up in Mao’s puritanical era, don’t want their children to experience the same repression.

These changes are talking place while women are gaining power and many families now value having female children. Few want to return to the way things were.

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of My Splendid Concubine [3rd edition]. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too. This is the love story Sir Robert Hart did not want the world to discover.

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Recognizing Good Parenting — Part 3/8

April 27, 2011

Until Amy Chua’s essay, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior appeared in The Wall Street Journal and her memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother was published, there wasn’t much of a discussion or debate about parenting in America.

These obsessive Politically Correct, self-esteem driven parent held sway over how most Americans raised children.

Now, thanks to Amy Chua, there is a wakeup call to many future and current parents. Critics have accused Amy Chua of child abuse, being a narcissist, a liar, a backstabber, a psychopath, etc.

Amy Chua was also attacked for daring to say Chinese mothers were superior to the soft American parent.

In fact, Amy Chua was parenting as the Old Testament advises except for the spanking (she never mentions in her memoir that she spanked her children).

Maybe Chua should have spanked her younger daughter Lulu because she was rude, insulting and rebellious.  Maybe she should have used soap and washed out Lulu’s mouth.

Continued on April 28, 2011 in Recognizing Good Parenting – Part 4 or return to Part 2

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too.

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.

This post first appeared on March 21, 2011, at Crazy Normal, a blog about education, parenting and coming of age.


Recognizing Good Parenting — Part 2/8

April 26, 2011

To discover how far the average parent in the US has gone to pamper the average child, the March 2011 Bulletin for AARP provided more disturbing statistics.

In Pampering Our Kids, AARP said, “When boomers finally became parents, they wanted nothing but the best for the little ones, driving sales for infants, toddlers and preschoolers to more than 17 billion a year.”

In addition, Money Management Works said, “Teen spending is playing a bigger and bigger role in the U.S. economy. Teenagers have money and they are spending it.… Despite the recession, 75% of teens are receiving the same or more spending money this year than last year.

“Clothing accounts for the biggest chunk of spending by teens, at 34%. Entertainment places second, at 22%, and food is third, at 16%.

“In a 2007 article by marketingvox, according to Packaged Facts, teen spending was $189.7 billion in 2006 and will be $208.7 billion by 2011. This is despite a 3% decline in the 12-17-year-old population over the same time period.”

Studies and statistics show that 80% of American parents (way above average) never attend a parent-teacher conference during the time their child is in kindergarten through twelfth grade (public schools).

This change in parenting also resulted in statistics describing today’s average American child and teen spending about 10 hours daily having fun watching TV, playing video games, social networking on Facebook, hanging out with other teens at the mall, or sending endless text messages to friends.

Politeness among the average American child and teen was out and rudeness was in. The old adage of the child “to be seen and not heard” was as good as dead for the average parent.

However, Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, says, “‘Seen but not heard’ is not the best model for parenting children. On the other hand, it is infinitely superior to the abdication of adult authority that marks the current age.”

To be continued on April 27, 2011 in Recognizing Good Parenting – Part 3 or return to Part 1

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too.

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.

This post first appeared on March 20, 2011, at Crazy Normal, a blog about education, parenting and coming of age


Recognizing Good Parenting — Part 1/8

April 25, 2011

In the 1960s, Political Correctness in partnership with the unproven theory of soft, obsessive self-esteem driven parents rewrote the rulebook for parenting in America resulting today in the “average” American parent that talks to his or her child less than five minutes a day.

Out went the soap that was once used to wash the mouths of vulgar children and teens leading today to the common use of the “F” word in almost every spoken sentence.

In addition, spanking (corporal punishment) was all but outlawed and identified as child abuse by many.

However, Religious Tolerance says, “Corporal punishment is strongly recommended in the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament).

Most of the biblical quotations advocating corporal punishment of children appear in the book of Proverbs.

“The phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child” is often incorrectly attributed to the Christian Bible. It does not appear there. It was first written in a poem by Samuel Butler in 1664.”


This video shows an example of the wrong way then the right way to spank a child.

Instead, Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently).”

Proverbs 19:18 says, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 23:13 says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.”

Proverbs 23:14 says, “Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell (Shoel).”

Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brengeth his mother to shame.”

The Old Testament was the oldest guide of parenting in the Western world used for several thousand years until the 1960s.

To be continued on April 26, 2011 in Recognizing Good Parenting – Part 2

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too.

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.

This post first appeared on March 19, 2011, at Crazy Normal, a blog about education, parenting and coming of age.


A Child’s fun and Self-esteem versus the Survival of a Nation – Part 3/3

April 16, 2011

When you study the average life span in other Asian countries such as China (68 for men and 71 for women) and India (59 for men and 60 for women), we learn that other Asian nations don’t do as well as Japan.

Then why do Asian-Americans beat every other racial group in the US at just about everything?

Could the answer be parenting methods leading to a better education and healthier lifestyles?

Here are some facts that are food for thought — In the American Mental Illness Olympics, I wrote that Asian-Americans had the lowest incidence of serious mental illness while Caucasians had the highest numbers.

In fact, if you do some Googling, you will discover a larger ratio of Asian-Americans graduate from high school and college than any other racial group in the US.

Asian-American teens have the lowest incidence of drug use, alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy and HIV-AIDS, and STD rates.

Asian-Americans also make up the smallest number of teen street gang members in the US.

Amy Chua, who wrote Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, is an Asian-American parent. It may not come as a surprise that Chua is under attack by many “average” American parents.

A good place to start learning what it means to be a better parent would be to read Parenting resolution revolution that a friend forwarded to me. Then, as a parent, practice all sixteen points of advice with number sixteen being what my friend wrote, “One big missing item is NO TV!”

Remember, today’s children will be tomorrow’s citizens.

Return to Part 2 or start with Part 1

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Lloyd Lofthouse is the award-winning author of the concubine saga, My Splendid Concubine & Our Hart. When you love a Chinese woman, you marry her family and culture too.

If you want to subscribe to iLook China, there is a “Subscribe” button at the top of the screen in the menu bar.