Saying Goodbye

To the Chinese, the hardest goodbye is when white hair buries dark. This week, a  friend of our daughter’s died a tragic death at 17. The lost daughter’s name was Faith. Her story, like so many, was told in The Lost Daughters of China by Karin Evans, a book about abandoned girls and their journeys to American homes with loving adopted parents.

The phone call arrived at midnight from Faith’s mother. When my wife answered, I could hear and feel the grief like a bullet—my eyes filled with tears and an ache formed where my heart beats. No mother should suffer the loss of a child.

On the way to the airport, I listened to a memory about our daughter and Faith when they were in preschool together and a boy took a toy from our daughter. He refused to give it back. Faith came to the rescue.  She was only four or five. She demanded the toy be returned. The boy refused and Faith attacked biting him on the elbow.

You see, she had learned to survive in an orphanage in China where life can be a challenge. She was loyal to those she loved, who loved her. As long as those memories are shared and kept alive, she will always be with those who knew her.

The rest of Faith’s tragic journey may be discovered at Earth to Earth, Dirt to Dirt, Ashes to Ashes


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4 Responses to Saying Goodbye

  1. What a terrible tragedy.
    One of my nephews and his wife have been trying to adopt for some time and I’ve been looking for a way of broaching the subject of Chinese babies with them. This would seem to be a good way of doing it, so I’ve ordered a copy of the book and will send it to them. If they were to follow that path then perhaps it would be some small tribute to Faith.
    Please pass on my condolences to her family.

    • Thank you. I called my wife to read your comment about Faith and adopting in China. I said, “Since there is a growing shortage of girls in China, it must be getting more difficult to adopt orphan girls.” She agreed.

      I suggest checking out any resources that the author of “The Lost Daughters of China” used to make sure your nephew and his wife do not get connected with black market crooks. The best way to do anything in China is by the rules and I know that may be frustrating but it is safer in the long run.

      • Thank you for passing the message on.
        Oh yes, the rules are very important. Fortunately my wife is a Notary in Nanning, has professional experience of assisting foreign nationals through the process and has contacts who could be useful to my nephew. It was hearing of some of her cases that gave me the idea to start with.
        That said, it is still a minefield to pass through and I’m sure the book would be a useful starting point for them.

      • Good luck for both the future adopted parents and the child.

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